Berry Happy
As much as I didn't want to hear those words...she called to say them.  "I'm sorry Mrs. Berry, but the birth mother has chosen another family."   I feel like my heart was ripped out in just a matter of seconds.  After days of being excited, so sure that this was the one, it is a huge let down. 

I think that this is the worst let down since the March of this year when our final infertitlity treatment failed.  I had already started picking out cute Halloween costumes for him and been thinking about how wonderful Christmas morning was going to be with our family together.  I keep reminding myself that it is all in God's timing.
I think I am going to go nuts waiting for Wendesday to get here!  I am so excited that I had to take meds just to sleep last night (haven't hardly slept since last Thursday night)! 

It is so exciting to think that after almost 3 years of trying to have a might be within reach. 

The message in church yesterday was about being adopted into God's family.  How amazing to hear that while waiting on an adoption! I told Clark I didn't want to sound hokey and say it was a sign, but it sure felt like God was speaking to our hearts. 

Child of my Heart

Oh my child, child of my heart.
There is so much to tell you, where shall I start?
I know you're out there, maybe even now.
I know that God will lead you to me, someway somehow.

I may never feel you kick or hear your heart beat for that first time.
But, from the moment that I hold you, there will be no doubt that you are mine.

Maybe even now, your birth mom is considering what to do.
I can only imagine what she is going through.
Maybe she is a child herself, with dreams yet to fulfill.
Maybe she is not ready for a little one, but I know she loves you still.
I know her heart must be breaking, and at night she cannot sleep.
I know if it were possible, it's you she'd want to keep.

 On the other side, I am waiting here.
I can sense her love for you and also her fear.
I wish that I could tell her of all the sleepless nights,
of all the tests and procedures and the prayers that this time just maybe it would be right.

I could tell her of all the tears, of all the prayers I've had.
Of the times that I felt so lost, of all the times I've been sad.

I can offer a Mom to kiss away the hurt and tuck you in at night,
I can offer a Dad to teach you to play ball and how to fly a kite.
I can offer a home and a family complete with Aunts, Uncles,Cousins,Granny and Grandpa.
They are all waiting for you, and loving you from afar.

I will share my love with you each and every day.
I will tell you of the woman who loved you in every single way.

I will make sure that you know just the sacrifice she made.
And if you someday want to meet her,
I will never try to dissuade.

For without this special woman,
I would have never had the chance to love you.
My dream of being a Mom, would have never come true.

So, please if you are out there.
Please know I care.
I know what a sacrifice you are making and I would never judge you, that would be unfair.

I am praying for you even now and please know from the very start.
This child will always be a part of you and a child
of my "heart".
Found out on Friday that we may have a possible match for our adoption.  We will find out a definate answer on Wednesday.  I don't think that it can get here fast enough.  We know that the mother is due November 6th with a little boy.  I have already started immagining what he would look like. 

I can't wait to find out if he is the little boy that will be our little Jack. 
I am just starting this blog so that our family and friends can keep up with all of the fun and interesting stuff that is going on with the Berry family. 

Thus far....this month! :-)

Alex passed his driving test last week.  He is the proud new owner of a driver's license.  He has been quite excited to drive to school every morning.  We have been excited that he can drive home after football practice (no more waiting in the parking lot for an hour at a time!!!)  It seems like yesterday his interests were Pokemon and Boy Scouts.  Now he is interested in the Sports Illustrated swim suit edition and facebook.  He is still in Boy Scouts-  working on his Eagle project! He is an amazing young man that is excited about all of the college brochures that he has been getting in the mail.

Jill started 8th grade!  I can't believe that cute little girl with the long blonde hair has grown up so much.  She is almost as tall as I am!  She still loves her sports but is totally about the fashion sense!  :-)  She is counting down the time until she gets to drive like big brother. 

Clark had a wonderful opening of the school year.  Very busy, but everything has gone smoothly thus far.  We are going to the first LWHS football game tonight!