The anticipation builds 08/30/2010
I think I am going to go nuts waiting for Wendesday to get here! I am so excited that I had to take meds just to sleep last night (haven't hardly slept since last Thursday night)!
It is so exciting to think that after almost 3 years of trying to have a baby...one might be within reach.
The message in church yesterday was about being adopted into God's family. How amazing to hear that while waiting on an adoption! I told Clark I didn't want to sound hokey and say it was a sign, but it sure felt like God was speaking to our hearts.
Child of my Heart
Oh my child, child of my heart.
There is so much to tell you, where shall I start?
I know you're out there, maybe even now.
I know that God will lead you to me, someway somehow.
I may never feel you kick or hear your heart beat for that first time.
But, from the moment that I hold you, there will be no doubt that you are mine.
Maybe even now, your birth mom is considering what to do.
I can only imagine what she is going through.
Maybe she is a child herself, with dreams yet to fulfill.
Maybe she is not ready for a little one, but I know she loves you still.
I know her heart must be breaking, and at night she cannot sleep.
I know if it were possible, it's you she'd want to keep.
I can sense her love for you and also her fear.
I wish that I could tell her of all the sleepless nights,
of all the tests and procedures and the prayers that this time just maybe it would be right.
I could tell her of all the tears, of all the prayers I've had.
Of the times that I felt so lost, of all the times I've been sad.
I can offer a Mom to kiss away the hurt and tuck you in at night,
I can offer a Dad to teach you to play ball and how to fly a kite.
I can offer a home and a family complete with Aunts, Uncles,Cousins,Granny and Grandpa.
They are all waiting for you, and loving you from afar.
I will share my love with you each and every day.
I will tell you of the woman who loved you in every single way.
I will make sure that you know just the sacrifice she made.
And if you someday want to meet her,
I will never try to dissuade.
For without this special woman,
I would have never had the chance to love you.
My dream of being a Mom, would have never come true.
So, please if you are out there.
Please know I care.
I know what a sacrifice you are making and I would never judge you, that would be unfair.
I am praying for you even now and please know from the very start.
This child will always be a part of you and a child
of my "heart".